He still makes my stomach hurt. Will this torture ever end? He barely says “hello.” He doesnt ask “how are you?” or “how was your break?” or “wow, I heard you were in an accident, how are you?” Nothing! Yet, I still can’t break free of his spell.
Archive for March, 2008
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Well I’ve returned one again to the land of CBU! Somehow it feels different than when I last returned. I’ve missed people so much more than I did before. And I have this feeling that something unexpected will happen within these last 5 weeks.
It seems that all my attempts to stop thinking about Mr. Q have failed. Oh how weak and feeble I am! When he is not here, I find I am depressed, but yet when he is here, I find I am still depressed. Why? I keep hearing the word “wait” inside my head. If only I knew what I was waiting for.
I keep praying that the Lord will help me submit fully and completely to Him, but can I do that if I am plagued by my wandering mind and heart?
Well I’ve come to an honest and forthright decision about–I’ll call him for the time being– Mr. Q (even though his last name does not start with Q)…
Who am I kidding? There’s no conclusion that I can come to! The only decision I have made is the fact that I have not made a decision. Woe is me!
