Here I am, once again, longing for things that once were, and fearful of things to come. I have anticipated much for this year, and already it seems that I have fallen back again into old habits and hangups, and have been disappointed by unmet expectations. I had not anticipated being busier than I was last year; I had figured that by dropping choir, I would have more time to invest in homework, friends, a relationship, devotion, and work. Well it seems that the primary focus of that category has been work, followed by homework. I feel that the closeness I had felt growing last year with my roommates is slipping away. All three of us are dating someone, and no matter how hard we try to make time for each other, there just is no time, and our attentions have been turned to focus on our relationships primarily, and not on each other. I guess what makes this really hard is that last year was full of such awesome (and yes, hectic and frustrating) times of growing together, confiding in one another about our emotional issues, going on random adventures, has fallen by the wayside.
Meanwhile, while I am enjoying my classes immensely (especially the ones taught by Dr. Key, no S), I feel constantly distracted by so many other things: things that weigh heavy on my mind and heart. What am I going to do after graduation, which is rapidly approaching, even though it seems so far off? Is this relationship I am in truly honoring God, and is it the direction God is pushing me towards? Not only are those the kinds of questions I am dealing with, but I also want to be there for the friends that are truly struggling emotionally with many issues in their lives.
