Does it really seem like I’m never happy? As if all I do is complain about something? At least that’s what she says. But honestly, if I just pretend like everything is fine all the time and not vent just a little, I’ll burst. I don’t always want to talk about it openly, because, lets face it, not all things are worth talking about in detail; but I do want to let the pressure from within out once in awhile. There are things that bother me such as: extreme messiness, or people taking my stuff without asking, or telling me that I shouldn’t leave my toothbrush on the counter… honestly, that kind of stuff shouldn’t be happening all the time. Okay, I’m not the neatest person in the world, I’ll admit, but after awhile, it just gets to me. Why am I sitting here, venting, when I should be sleeping? This is utterly absurd. I just feel unhappy and distant from them. I ask how they are doing, and I get very vague answers. I ask her what her feelings are about things, and I feel like I don’t always hear the absolute truth. And what I do hear, is never very positive. Am I needed even at all? Do they ever want to hear what I am trying to say? Or do they just nod their head and act like they are listening, but really don’t care? I want to talk, I want to feel like I can talk to them, really and truly, but I can’t. Each word is as heavy as lead, pushed, and forced, harder than they need to be.
Archive for December, 2008
Secrets
A secret kept so silent
locked away, the key thrown away
you think no one will find it
until he breaks the lock.
