The Beginning and The End perhaps?

January 13, 2010 McFee

Yesterday I finally made the decision about what I was going to do. Everything had finally come to a dramatic head and I am now moving back in with my parents in less then three weeks. I feel at peace about this decision and that it is right, but something inside me is wanting to kill me and everything.

The last three years have been my years of growing spiritually and mentally. They have been my growing up years; of finding out who I am and who God is. I have been learning about independence from my childhood state, but also dependence on God.

But now that must end or be put on hold. I feel like I am going back in time to where I was four years ago: living at home, working, having little friends. I don’t know too many people up there to be honest. There are a few girls I know at my parent’s church, but that is about it. And they are a bit younger than me too.

I know this is right. I have felt peace but something wants to fight against it, to make me doubt this. I have to save money with the hopes that Andrew and I will get married. I want that so much. But once again, it is not about what I want, but what God wants.

So in order to stay sane, I must plan the things I will do once I make the move. Number one: seek out jobs every single day and get interviews. Number two: find a nice church to fellowship at and be a part of worship in some capacity. Number three: advertise guitar lessons as much as possible. These three things I must do, as well as have devotional time every day.