Relief

My heart seems to have finally been freed from Mr. Q. I’m happy, yet slightly sad at the same time. I’m sad because my heart was tied so long, even though there was no sign that he reciprocated. I was angry and my heart was greatly burdened. I spent so much time… but alas, I must forget these things and press forward to wherever God has me go.

Add a comment April 14, 2008

The College ADD Student

“The Failure to Write a Paper”
Nov-Dec 2007

The following is based off a series of true events with elements of fiction.

6:00pm- “Finally, I am back at the apartment,” I say to myself as I open the door and walk in (leaving the key in the lock on the door). I throw my 50 pound back pack on the floor beside a chair and take my jacket off; I toss that aside as well.
“I have so much to do,” I continue aloud to myself. “I have a 12 page paper due friday and also a three page conclusion to my research paper.” I moan as I stumble my way into the bedroom and kick off my heels that I was forced to wear for choir. There are red lines from the straps of my heels stripped across the tops of my feet.
One of my roommates is sitting at her computer im-ing a friend.
“I knew that was you!” she says in a cheerful voice.
“Uh huh,” I mumble as I collapse in the “Chair of Death.”* I open my laptop and open up one of my Word document files to work on.
“Oh, before I forget, I should check my email,” I say aloud. I click the Safari icon* and check my school email. Oh great, my coworker sent out the schedule. I have two appointments tomorrow tomorrow, I better write them down or I will forget. Maybe I should check my Yahoo email as well. I check it. Oh cool, Sarah* replied to a message on Facebook. I wonder what she said. Okay, she wants to have breakfast tomorrow. I better make a reminder for myself.

7:00pm- I probably should start on my paper now. I click on the document and quickly scroll through it, looking at the headings I have created…. and the empty spaces underneath.
“Oh this isnt too good,” I say outloud.
“What isn’t good?” asks my highly inquistive roommate.
“I have barely written anything on this paper,” I complain.
“Oh I am sorry,” she says. She gets up and walks over to where I am sitting. “ya know, I just know why I like Steve*. He’s so rude and inconsiderate, yet so mysterious,” she says, quickly changing the subject.
“You really should focus on other things,” I quickly retort.
“I know, I know,” she sighs, “but what about you? Do you still like Kevin*?”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now, I have stuff to do,” I said.
“Oh okay, she says as she leaves the room. “I’m hungry.”
Okay, back to my paper. What does this text mean in context? God is…God. Yeah thats good. There is no other. Right. Got that part.
Man this room sure is messy. I cant work like this… Ah man! A bunch of papers just slid off my printer and onto the floor. I HAVE to clean this up.
8:00pm- Okay, thats better. Now I can think. So God is God and Israel is his chosen nation. Man I am getting hungry.
I wander into the kitchen and open the refridgerator door. I grab for the milk and read the label. “Best if used by 11-08-07.” Gross! Whose is that? This frigde is so dirty and half the stuff in here has expired. Never mind that. I’ll just eat some crackers. I grab a package of Ritz and start heading back to the room when I notice the overflowing trashcan.
“I better take that out before my roommates get mad at me,” I say to myself.
I grab the trash and take it outside. I see a friend walk by. He asks me about the paper due friday. “Have you started yet?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, most definitley,”i reply.
“Well maybe we can meet tomorrow night to work on it,” he suggests.
“yes definitley,” I reply quickly.
I walk back up to the apartment and realize that I have only written about two sentences. I hop onto the “Chair of Death.”
“Okay, I am going to focus. I will write this paper,” I say to myself.
9:00 pm Maybe I should do the cover page; I’ll feel like I have got something done if I do that. Great, I have my name and class period written down. I really do wonder why Kevin hasnt repplied to me yet. Maybe I will check just one more time…. GRR! He still hasnt replied. I am so frustrated with him! Okay, calm down, you are clearly overreacting. Paper, must get back to writing the paper.
Roommate number 2 walks in the door.
“Hi,” I say to her. “How are you?”
“So tired,” she says. “Today was a really stressful day. And I have a concert saturday that I am not prepared for.” She sits down in her chair and leans back.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say. I turn around and stare at my laptop screen, hoping words will somehow materialize onto it. This is going nowhere. I’m going to write a blog and come back to this later.
“Oh, by the way,” says roommate two. “You left your keys in the door.”
“Oh,” I say, with my face growing red. “Thanks.” Now what was I doing again? Checking email or was it something else? I can’t quite remember. No new messages. Maybe I should get back to my paper now. Alright I have one page for the introduction now; perhaps I shall start on the context section. I wonder if anyone commented on my blog… darn! no new comments.
I now have five windows applications open; my blog, my calbaptist email, my facebook, my yahoo email, and my word document. The computer is now running on reserve battery and I can’t find my charger.
This room is so boring. I think I will go and hang some Christmas lights. I go to the living room and roommate number one is sitting on the couch. She looks up at me and beams. “We should do something about the war,” she says. “Our pranks haven’t been prankish enough.”
“I’m not even sure they can be classified as pranks,” I reply, holding a string of snowflake lights up to the window. “They’re more like random acts of Christmas kindness.”
“Well, what should we do then?” she asks.
I sit down and we begin to discuss.
10:30pm “Well we have got some great ideas,” she says.
“Yes,” I say, finishing the last touch on the lights. “I just think that it takes away from the Christmas spirit.”
“Oh, but its fun!” she says.
I sigh as I trude to the bedroom. I trip over the “chair of Death” amd then proceed to kick it with my bare foot. “Owch!” I loudly proclaim.
“Are you okay?” roommate number two asks.
“Oh sure, sure,” I grumbled as I sit down.
“How’s your paper coming?” she asks.
“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I exclaim. I frantically turn my computer on and wait for it to boot. “not good, not good,” I moan, banging my head against the desk.
“Are you dying Corinney?” asks Roommate number one.
“Yes,” I say, rubbing my sore head.
It is now almost eleven and neither of my papers are even close to be close to being finished.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? If so, please share!

*Names altered for confidential purposes.

2 comments February 2, 2008

ARGH!

I just realized my phone bill was due two days ago and I haven’t paid it yet!!

Add a comment January 23, 2008

Bleh.

I feel so lazy, tired, and unmotivated. I am not sure if it is a temporary dry spell or just a complete burn out.
Its one of those times where you just don’t want to do anything and you really don’t care what you do either.
Maybe its from doing too much or being too busy.Maybe its the opposite of that. Maybe its a result of wanting something to happen that just hasn’t happened. I sometimes feel like I am wasting time. I should be more productive. I should be thinking of someone else besides myself.
I managed to switch shifts with someone who had a shorter shift than me because I feel so down. I feel pretty bad about that.

Well, at least I am getting homework done. If this feeling was affecting that, then I might have a problem.

Add a comment January 22, 2008

Finding The Balance

Between what is right and what is easy
Between home life and school life
Between being too busy and not busy enough
Between saying too much and doing too little
Between doing too much and not saying enough
Between what is being a slob and what is being overly neat
Between faith and reason
Between school and work
Between doing homework and spending time with friends
Between liking and love
Between hope and guilibility
Between finishing this entry or disregarding it for now

Add a comment January 17, 2008